无尽头.
Last updated: Saturday, May 19, 2012; 8:23 PM
- 唯有部落格能让我遗留些心情.
近来好吗?
很好 那就好
短短的三个星期，就像三个月一样 过得特漫长。我问了问自己: "佳馨 其实你想要的什么啊? " 或许我想要的都很简单吧。一个明确的回应; 一个不是借口的答案; 一个保留的友谊; 一个从内心的微笑; 一个就这么一个真的懂我思绪的人类... ...
我真的很努力很努力地隐藏，隐藏所有的思念; 所有的不舍; 所有的回忆; 所有的所有... ... 我想这全都失败了吧。如果我能回到过去并且还是那潇洒的黄佳馨，那该多好啊。我就不会与这一切纠缠不清，还是我心甘情愿地承受?
好想一个人旅行。到一个没人的草原，用力地呐喊，把所有的烦恼都往外抛。
你知道吗? 你知道为什么我毫无选择地站在原点吗?
因为这就是黄佳馨。没得到明确的回应就不会呼唤自己离开的人类，或许这就是我冒名的原则。因为我还是这么固执在一个你不会知道的念头。因为我再也学不会潇洒的技巧，我尝试了许多遍但却无法拿捏。因为我很想很想很想知道我的问号到底怎样才能得到最明确的回应。
你听见了吗?
你听见我的思绪在寻找着一个主人吗?
你听见我在想你吗... ...
残酷.
Last updated: Thursday, May 17, 2012; 11:30 PM
心凉了吧
我黄佳馨终于流落到这如此堕落的地步
我想这就是累计的报应一部分吧
半年 就这么不起眼的半年
我已承受了很多令我伤痕累累的惩罚
原以为被那残酷友情的配合后
我能好好地过生活 过一些与他人一样平凡无奇的生活
但为什么 为什么在我疗好伤后 再狠狠地把我再刮了一刀
难道你就没看见我流血不止吗?
别说帮我扎伤口 连冷看一眼也懒了吧
瞬间 真的发现每天在伪装的自己累了
累得想离开这根本不属于谁的世界
只想到一个无人的荒地 好好地享受一个人的世界
不须理会什么 更不须把他人的眼光放在眼里
不须计较什么 更不须跟自己那些回忆过不去
现在的我如果能在那儿 该有多好 ... ...
残酷的过渡期.
Last updated: Saturday, May 12, 2012; 5:09 PM
人走了 留不下一路珍惜的身影 但留下了许多细节的回忆
我并没有很想念
只是偶尔没事干的时候会翻阅一下名为《回忆》的相簿
眼泪不再是陪伴我渡过这过渡期的发泄品
不知是太累还是释怀了
微笑说着没事 还装一副洒脱的模样
事后却拆穿自己并说别装了
这生活就像脸蛋被画着一个大大微笑的嘴唇的小丑
但心里却有着对职业上多少的不屑
就算心里有多么不甘心
但凭着自己单方面的勇敢结果还是一样
就算拥有了冒名的勇气
但没人类会稀罕并给予你最渴望的回应
就算舍弃了天真的想法
但还是得一个人面对那无比惨绝的事实
A-Lin - 等你
就像为我心情而写的歌曲 :')
燒掉了回憶 從此你從記憶體刪去
謝謝你讓我懂得放棄 學會了哭泣
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Miracles.
Last updated: Tuesday, May 01, 2012; 9:10 PM
These days, lots of feelings come to me. Some dreams come true in my life which I never ask them to. Yea. Im just the one who thought. I thought everything will be fine & back to me. But all of those just I thought.
People said time will get over all of the toughs. But I know that just only human's mind can do so. How if I can be the one who change someone's mind. But I know I have no chance ever. I choose to stay but so what? I just standing alone at the place.
People said maybe give up just only the way I have to go for. It may good way for us. Why just don't let me wait for miracles? I did believe since our story start & the moment when all of those promises made. Yea, Im just stubborn. Just because of those promises you gave me when I'm still losing my way.
People said you still have lots of chance over there. Yea, I knew that. But can you find a person who can know my mind and cheer me up no matter what for me? If you found, I quit all of these. I swear.
I dont know. I dont know what should I do for all of these. No one gave me a confirm answer. Everything is just mess up and confusing me. I just getting hate my life. Everytime, I just met the same story. People leave w/ stupid excuses and don't even look back what promises they made for me. Did you realize I care about? I did remember all of those promises although people said sometimes promises doesn't mean it when hurts created. So what, I just care about it. I just know that sorry doesn't mean everything for me. Because a sorry can't make things complete and create a ending for me. I dont know why this time I just cant act like a smart and give up. Thanks for those who help me lots & cheer me up :') ♥
Did you hear me?
I still waiting for miracles.
Sorry if it become a burden for you.
-Mr.Smile & I were far apart since the moment
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Bye March & Hello April.
Last updated: Saturday, March 31, 2012; 9:38 PM
Long time didnt update my dead blog.
People, I'm here now :D !
31032012
The last day of March (:
Exam > Holidays > Result > Lm Gathering > CHS Idol
I have no idea w/ my results although I got top 10 in the class. All I want is MARKS, the higher marks the higher average. I have to study hard & hard for next term because I have to prove my family/friends that I can study as well. I will try my best to.
Jiamin & Joyce, Sorry that I made lots of mistakes. Forgive me and I will try to improve, I dont know whether we have the next time or not. I hope miracles will happen for me & you guys.
I got lots of awesome memories which created by Lm Buddies in this years. My form 4 life almost fill up by LM. I love the moment when stay w/ them because I have no worries or whatever. They will cheer me up when realize I have something wrong. I will get hugs/words when I need it. We can do any crazy things together. I appreciate every moment w/ them. You guys are awesome to me no matter what. Can't wait for our celebration next Friday :D ! We have to BOMB the RedBox #likeaserious :D And I should
Friends,
Sorry that I didn't hide my feelings as well as I can in this month. I made you guys worried about me. Thanks for always stay with me no matter what. But I realize I start to love the moment when I stay alone. Hearts & Loves always :D ! ♥ ♥ ♥
Bye March.
Hi April.
Please treat me good.
 |
| I smile because I know the world still beautiful :')
|
How wish I can be the one who you mention about.
But I know there will never be.
Smile always.
The story start before 2 months ago.
From the moment which I can't forget.
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The Beauty of Smile.
Last updated: Sunday, February 26, 2012; 10:00 PM
My blog was dead x.x
Im quite lazy to update my life.
You smile I smile ♥
I would like to update my pretty wonderful yesterday :D ! I went to PIBG Lm Duty. I spent my whole pretty day w/ my Lm Buddies. After morning section duty, we went to Midvalley for lunch & CHATIME HAHA. Although we did nothing after back from Midvalley, but we can just laugh and crazy over there. June & I gave the birthday boy, ShunYang a surprise. He just like "HUH?" What a great one. I realize our committees is shoooo cute. LOVE FOODS so much & much. We talk; We Laugh; We gossip; We sweat like hell & We tired like nobody else. I love those moment when be w/ them. Nothing have to worry about although we all fighting and work hard for this year. Thanks for give me advice and cheer me up when Im down for something*. Love you guys ttm. ♥ Hope our Form4 Lm trip will be out soon :D ! Cant wait for it seriously !
ps: I love the moment when we all shoot on the SAME THING :D ! What a great feeling, But actually it's showing how crazy we're :D !
6 days to go.
I am a attending a Terrible Gathering.
I have to met all of those Exam Paper again.
Few of my New Friends will be there too.
#LikeAFinally #FML
You never knew your smile is the best gift for me :')
How wish someday you will realize.
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35集的连续剧.
Last updated: Sunday, February 05, 2012; 11:40 PM
35集的连续剧
终于由一个不怎么好的结局收场
我得原谅自己的天真，天真地以为这世界只要时间久了就有奇迹。奇迹的发生只是我还能这么蒙地被配合，我太佩服我自己了。我还能这么努力地尽全力付出而什么都没得到，我不选择怨谁 因为这是我残酷的命运。自我安慰地说 经历了最痛的 我相信我以后的生活一定很不错 :') 我还是有很多疑问。
为什么你能那么理所当然地面对我?
为什么你不会感到一丁点得不舍得?
为什么你不能好好解释你的所作所为?
为什么你一直说对不起而只想逃避?
为什么你能那么狠心看着我只是被你配合?
有很多说不出口的为什么，但我都知道那些是你却给不了的回应。我面对不了一个我天真以为的好人。我更不想把自己在介入他的世界。仅仅是这样，我黄佳馨告诉自己更得坚强。坚强地面对这么多的突然。我知道我一定的放过自己 :') 加油 佳馨 !
苑琴, 谢谢你一路来的陪伴，让我知道我并不孤单。 无话不说 但我们却说不出心里最深处的那些话语。我们都了解彼此的脑袋怎么运作，我们一起向前走吧 ! 我非常非常喜欢我们昨晚偷渡去公园的时刻。每个人在梦里生活着，我们却到公园散心。虽然你不怎么说什么来安慰我，但因为有你我更告诉我自己我不能崩溃 :') 有你，真好 :D ! 你也得解决你的问题了啦 拖拖拉拉也不怎么好 :P 还是回到我身边吧! *开玩笑*
♥ ♥ ♥
为什么我就是不舍得删除那三个在你名后的符号
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祝我生日快乐
Last updated: Sunday, January 22, 2012; 1:43 PM
今年的生日很特别，在家里和不会说话的电脑度过
就这样，我2012年的生日就有了污点
或许这也是一个回忆吧
谢谢脸书朋友和好朋友们的祝福 我都一一回复
至少有你们的陪伴 我不会感到孤单
或许在不懂得领域
都会有着不同的想法
坦白不了的是个人最深处的秘密
我却一直等待着这份无私的坦白
放弃或珍惜
我已模糊了个别的意义
朋友的安慰我怎么也听不进
那些画面全在我脑海中转动 和我说:"佳馨，哭吧！你会好很多的"
我怎么了 看着日历却自问今天是我的生日吧 ?
悲伤会让人忘了自己的生日
遗憾的是不能亲手把礼物交给你
但祝你生日快乐 朋友 (:
祝我生日快乐
谢谢家人16年的陪伴 (:
分割线
你看见我的思念吗?
还是你忽略了
因为你有了别的她?
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不完成的故事
Last updated: Saturday, January 21, 2012; 11:18 AM
我只是在乎八年的友情 能维持那么久不容易吧
当我决定把四年的它给放了
但你却忍心看着我学习什么是伤害
你清楚怎么写伤害吗?
你体会到眼泪能在一瞬间掉落的失落吗?
你懂什么叫等待却一场空吗?
朋友之间没什么叫补偿或亏欠，我懂什么叫珍惜或放弃
我掩饰不了我所发觉而产生的多疑
我更不想成为那些纠缠不清的怪物
我不在乎你脚下有几只优秀的船带你到不同的感情领域
我退出 因为我想我还没资格参与 (:
沉默是我们给彼此的回应
-苑琴，你担心得对。或许你想象的真的实现了，还是没想象中的简单 (: 有什么想法你都能直接告诉我，给我有个预防。那该多好 ？别再沉默在你想得到的，勇敢地再尝试吧 !
-晓琪，谢谢你这几天来的倾诉与给我很多忠告，我铭记。但不会在这段莫名其妙的东西 (: 你加油吧 ! 你会找到一个幸福的 :D 新年后不同班了 我会想你叻 :O
-慈恩，谢谢你一路来的陪伴。寻找另一个不同的领域会是你新的开始 :D ! 你加油吧 ! 我永远都是你的聆听者 (: 友情的问题能解决的, 别那么快就给她下一个残酷的结论。
-欣仪，我知道你很容易满足但却很容易受伤。加油加油加油 ! 没什么成不了，机会一直在你手中等你去尝试 :D !
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关于自行车的日记
Last updated: Tuesday, January 17, 2012; 10:28 PM
还没把疲倦的心情收拾好的我，在一个上班族放工了就在家里躲着的区域里踏着红白色自行车闲逛并哼着小曲子。傍晚宁静的夜色把我思绪强烈地带了出来。不甘心地踏着自行车往前方的路冲，累了就放慢速度边欣赏那只有路灯照着傍晚。一圈又一圈的，就是不想回到原点。只因一切又得重回到书堆里。用力地踏着，把心中的不屑与压力统统往后丢。
自行车就像我的生活一样，尽力地在课业上沾上略优的成绩；累时就把真实的自己带出来。在冲刺的过程中，总得为那唯一的凹凸而停顿下来。自行车成了我另个倾诉者，我把悲伤喜悦都与它分享了。虽然它不曾给我任何回应，但它总是让我有着深深的安全感。小红，谢谢你带我走到自由奔驰的世界。请你继续当我最好的朋友 :')
不愿再被思念锁在不得自主的思绪
告诉我，我接受
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Peace.Love.Smile.
Last updated: Sunday, January 15, 2012; 1:14 PM
Hello World (:
Lots of things to update but Im quite lazy to type haha!
I hate Form4 life much & much. Need to learn lots of new things. Ergh :/ Busy school life. Last Friday is Hari Gerko. I was on duty for LM. We have to walk around the school and ask people to join our club. When we close to them, they was like Errrr NO-NO-NO and giving a damn face. Damn fed up :( Especially those Form1, keep run away from us. I wonder we're quite horrible seriously? LOLS ! Our target is 10 people, but I just only find 5 people, how fail. :/ Finally know the feeling which keep let people ignore or reject.
I missed the first BOMBA ACTIVITY of 2012 because I slept over the time & I woke up because of Ernn's text when 7.30, It's the time which activity start ! How wish somebody can hold my head and bang it to the wall hardly. Heard that it was quite fun but tired. Sad ttm max that cant have fun. Fine then. I knew that I was so FAIL. Mum asked me to help her again, But in the hald way, I went to take a nap immediately :X Sorry mum ## !
Mr.AddMath, can you dont so hard to let people understand you? I cant even close to you because you're too strange to me :'( And what I want to say is >> I MISS 3B2 so much & much :O ! Although my new class quite not bad, but those boys is like Errrr... dont know how to describe :S
These day... One Word to describe. SUCKS :X ! Start from the day, I shouldn't expect anything. So I wouldn't bother anymore. If you want come to me, then SMILE. If not, I wont say anything too (: What ChieErnn said to me last time, it's so useful to me. Helped me lots on these sucks feeling. THANKS Ernn (: ! Get a better life without a expect mind :D!
Go ahead with HOMEWORKS Jiasing! :D
*lazy mode*
Dont act nice to me (:
I will thought It's a truth.
I didn't choose to look back
Because I knew there's lots of story which you created .
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Part of my heart is your words.
Last updated: Sunday, January 08, 2012; 2:53 PM
HELLO PEEPS !
Start busy on bloody school's stuff.
Back from Midvalley w/ my love one, ShinYie ;D ! Bought those stuff which I want. Can't wait for Chinese New Year ;O ! ANG-PAWWWW. Kampug & Cousins. Damn miss those laughing moments w/ them, but everyone is busy on own colloge or school. Especially those HomeworkSSS. Hope we can hang out asap ;D !
Back to normal life. Nothing special, Friendsss Studiesss Bookssss Homeworkssss Naggingsss. Just that's my life :/ I can sit in the class silently and to listen teacher's teaching. But I beg you teacher, please dont asked us prepare for HOMEWORKS. I damn lazy to sit in the room and keep doing it. I prefer used the time to EMO/ThinkTooMuch. But not for HOMEWORKS ## ! Fine then.
Dear mind,
Can you dont so stubborn anymore? Im freaking tired on think too much. Can you don't disturb my life? Because of you, dear mind. I cant even concentrate on anything. Just leave me alone here. I beg you seriously. I can't even release my feeling with tears. Just like something stuck in the hole and you can't even get it out. PLEASE !
Had alot of FUN w/ my bro's Alienware
I got you
But not your truly heart.
CountDown 14 (:
